Last month was one of love and I understand that the chocolates and affection might have been given to the other, uhm human, love of your life. But that’s okay, because while you were otherwise occupied, I filled in for you on the tarmac and loved your beeeaaauutiful wheels! We had a fabulous time by the way.
None of us want to think about losing the ones we love, but what happens when something goes wrong and someone else gets behind the wheel of your car? Too horrible to imagine right? That’s why, this month, I got stuck into research to bring you a guide on keeping your wheels safe and BOTH our hearts from getting broken. I thought this witty little how-to from The Globe and Mail on protecting your car really hit the nail on the head.
- Travel everywhere by plane.
- Don’t leave your car running with the door open and the thief’s favourite song playing. Car thief faves include Keep the Car Running by Arcade Fire and Hall and Oates’ Method of Modern Love.
- Avoid leaving gold bars or stacks of cash in the front seat.
- Don’t leave keys in the ignition when you step out to get coffee.
- Place a sign visible on dashboard: “You’ve already stolen my gold bars and stacks of cash.”
- When you park your car in a parking area, remove at least one wheel.
- Whenever you park, leave a porcupine on the driver’s seat.
- Never leave your car.
- Pre-steal your own car.
- Park your car in a garage, but park a hologram of your car on the street as a decoy.
But of course, the best way to make sure your wheels stay yours is by having me. I kind of have this awesome reputation for watching your wheels and being able to bring back the things you love.